The Lessons We Both Keep Learning

The hardest thing about raising a daughter is watching her learn the lessons you still remember feeling.

My 12-year-old daughter is having a hard time with a friend at school right now.

It’s been a reminder that friendship—even at that age—can be complicated.
And that the lessons we learn about belonging and boundaries start early.

There are things I want her to know.
Things I wish someone had told me at 12:

💬 Real friendship isn’t about being liked—it’s about feeling safe.
💬 True friends lift you up, not tear you down.
💬 You can care deeply and still need to protect your peace.
💬 Outgrowing someone doesn’t make you disloyal—but it doesn’t make it hurt any less.
💬 The right friends won’t make you shrink to fit their comfort.
💬 Kindness and boundaries can—and should—coexist.

I want her to understand that friendship is one of the first mirrors of self-worth.
The friends you choose reflect what you believe you deserve.
And the way you show up for others reflects the love you’ve learned to show yourself.

So I tell her—
✨ Guard your peace.
✨ Honor your gut.
✨ You can’t make someone include you, choose you, or treat you well—but you can decide what you’ll tolerate.
✨ Be loyal, but not at the expense of your joy.
✨ True friendship should never make you feel less than.
✨ Some friendships will bring heartbreak, and that’s okay—it just means your heart was open.
✨ And never confuse attention with connection.

These are lessons for her—
but truthfully, they’re reminders for me too.

Because learning how to be a good friend—to others and to yourself—
is part of the inner work of leadership. 💛